The Perfect Muck

Folks, when you've played thousands of hands of tournament Texas Hold'em Poker certain things begin to come naturally.  Mucking is one of them. If you don't know already,  here's what "muck" in this form means:

Muck in gambling has multiple meanings. In poker, it most often refers to the pile of discarded cards into which players may throw their folded hands, and into which the dealer may place burned cards. It may also refer to the action of throwing a hand into the muck. - Wikipedia

When you bail out of a hand you can muck a ton of different ways. This ranges from simply sliding your cards unseen by others toward the center of the table and taking your hand off them to tossing them straight into the dealer's muck, again unseen. Judging from the Wikipedia definition, you could say you can "muck to the muck." I wouldn't suggest saying that in a live game though. Some players, the more burly among them, might counter with many forms of remarks...none complimentary.

This...is a "pig in muck."  Not the same thing
but a very close resemblance to the cards
that end up there.

But this is about The Perfect Muck. I am referring to a toss of the cards through the air on a direct, uninterrupted path to the stack of cards referred to as the "dealer's  muck" or stack of burned cards. In all modesty (not really), I must admit I have perfected such a move. Here, the cards are gently wedged against the inside of the thumb, the index and forefingers of one hand. Next, they are spun through the air, flat and unexposed, and land gently 'midst the dealer's muck.

But there is yet another, better muck out there folks.  I will call it the "Bruce Fling Flick Muck."  It involves pointing your two pocket cards at the dealer's muck and with an invisible 'flick' the cards fly through the air to their objective.  I have come across one, just one player whose name is (you guessed it) Bruce Fling.  Bruce fly's, or his cards do, solo among thousands...one who can make this move easily and naturally, every time.  It is an awesome thing to witness.  In fact, just today I was discussing this with an experienced dealer who agrees it's the best we have ever seen.

Now, I must also admit that I occasionally miss my version of The Perfect Muck and have what I call a "spasm." When this happens my cards fly in different directions, sometimes toward other players. Fortunately, I have learned to be very quick with apologies and have yet to suffer anything more than a little humiliation.

Thanks and...See you at the final table.

Time - Alliteration Litter & Remnants

First there's...
Time out!
Time's up!
Time zone.
Time table.
Time clock.
Time magazine.
Time marches on.
Time management.
Time is of the essence.

On the other hand...
All time.
No time.

Time remnants: Grandpa and Grandma
Campbell or Gladue's
pocket watch and "Awl For All." 

It's time.
Big time.
Old time.
Lap time.
Nap time.
Any time.
Half time.
Real time.
Bed Time.
Hard time.
Over time.
Party time.
Early time.
Exact time.
Prime time.
Break time.
About time.
Waste time.
World time.
Father time.
Test of time.
Crunch time.
Current time.
Quarter time.
Estimated time.
Appointment time.
Howdy Doody time!
Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner time.

Or opposites...
First and Last time.
Start and End time.
Good and Bad time.
Day and Night time.
Best and Worst time.

Moron Poker - The Nuances

Okay, okay...actually it's not "moron poker" at all. That's just click bait. It should read "more on poker" but that wouldn't entice clickers would it?!

On a good day...
you can hardly see past your chip stack.

It's the game folks. It's the beautiful tournament Texas Hold'em poker game with an infinite mix of players, dealers, tournament directors and many other folks. They all occupy the gambling stage in several acts with many props and every scene is filled with nuances. Together, the people, casino, tables, cards, chips, food and a certain infamous Lady make the complete package.

The players are a wonder to me, a modern day example of how diverse cultures and nationalities could and should work together in the world today.  In general, they are intelligent, hard-working folks who take relaxation in studying and playing the game.  They are bound by a common set of rules that are observed by dealers and enforced by tournament directors.  The players are all in competition but they know the rules and they generally have respect for one another. I have been a fairly avid tournament student for around ten years now and I am still impressed with how everyone gets along...99.9% of the time.

(Exception: yesterday, yes just yesterday I witnessed another player so upset about losing a hand and the ensuing joking he seriously threatened another player with "...see you outside." I quietly went to the Tournament Director and mentioned it along with an observation that I had seen nothing like it in ten years of tournament poker. I just asked them to keep an eye on the player.  The Director actually called their security chief and the chief soon called the offending player aside for a quiet talk. The player returned, there were no further displays and shortly thereafter he was knocked out of the tournament. Later I told the Director I thought she really handled that well.) 

Dealers are typically thoughtful; cautioning experienced players who occasionally mess up and coaching often anxious new players on rules. They are in a constant state of shepherding their flock of 9 or so players while the cards and chips are flying everywhere.  Game time is busy time for dealers and most of them seem to enjoy themselves. They have some genuinely fine smiles and keen senses of humor in common. And they can deal...really well.

Tournament directors function as game experts and Supreme Court Justices of the game, listening to dealers describe elements of a violation or controversial move when they occur, quickly making a decision and keeping the game moving. They also maintain the tournament clock, chip stacks, player seating and basically anything that needs to be done to keep a tournament moving along.  Did I mention security? Oh yeah, that too.

And then, of course there is the ever mystical, fickle, glorious, often uplifting, often ass-kicking Lady Luck. Let's not forget her as she is nipping at your heels every step of the way. She first enters the scene with your simple seat draw. You line up at the cashier's cage, pay your entry fee and are randomly assigned a seat. That seat alone will make or break your day. The cards that land in your seat position will be hot or cold in all possible percentages and will most often vary throughout your poker day.

The patience you use in coping with the seat variance Lady Luck dishes out will be a huge factor in whether you end up at the final table and among other players who cash in the tournament. If you draw an early hot seat, your challenge will be to avoid tilting away your chips by later making careless bets. If you draw an early cold seat, the challenge will be to avoid punting your  remaining short stack of chips, hoping to suck out a win by entering hands where you know you are most likely behind.

Finally, there are the nuances you experience as the game progresses. The chips in front of you must be managed, placed as wagers, shuffled or handled as you await the tale of the cards. Raking and stacking a winning pot is pretty great too! Your cards must be examined and reexamined carefully as the game progresses and you contemplate your next move. You must study the play of your opponents. You must keep track, but not too closely, of distractions around you; table talk, television screens, cell phones, drinks, snacks. And of course, you must win...just often enough to keep you in the game as a matter of finances and interest.

So no folks. It is far from "moron poker." If you are a dedicated tournament player, it is always; "Teach me more on poker." I want to learn, I want to be patient and I want the Lady to visit me regularly. Hell, I'd even suck up if I could track her down.

See you at the final table.