Klutz - In Action

It was damn cold in Des Moines. The teens. I was busy finding out that a bum hip in the cold turns into a “bummer” hip, hence the expression (at least for me that is). So now, when you hear someone say, “that’s a bummer” you know they are talking about Tom’s hip… of course.

I returned to the Courtyard, walked into the lobby and headed straight for a parson’s table that had some magazines on it. They are usually free for the taking and I was trying to store up reading material for the plane flight home. Well, I didn’t exactly head straight for it. I had to dodge two small yellow pylons that warned of a “wet floor”. I checked out a Newsweek at the table for a few seconds, decided it fit my criteria (very low) for in-flight reading material and turned away from the table... magazine in hand.

I had forgotten about the little yellow pylon right behind me so the two of us immediately got into a wrestling match to maintain balance. Fortunately it was a tie and we both remained upright but not without making a lot of noise and attracting looks from a few folks in the lobby area. I made some dumb little comment and took two more steps whereupon I caught my foot on a runner they had placed in the lobby to collect some of the snow and other crud people were tracking in from outside.

I survived that encounter too but just barely. The runner and I did a little tap dance with some flapping and shuffling thrown in for good measure. That had the lobby gallery looking on again but strangely silent. I am guessing that is because they couldn’t believe what they were witnessing.

Through it all I managed to make a couple of moves that would have made a junior high school halfback proud…I think. I am also thinking Chevy Chase would be proud of me even though I failed to execute a complete somersault in either pratfall attempt. In any event there is a message here. Beware of unfamiliar objects placed strategically in normally empty hotel lobbies. If it seems they are out to get you, they probably are.