Bird 'Expressions'

Capital Casino Chips
(Yes, more than 30k - from a much better day.)

It all began innocently enough...
I was deeply involved in my usual Sunday poker tournament
At Sacramento's Capital Casino
Julieann had armed me with her typical counsel
Just before leaving home; "Be patient and good luck."

So I spend the first couple of hours practicing patience
As luck was hard to come by
Finally after the second break... in the third hour
I started catching hands

I was soon up to around 30,000 in chips
And was enjoying the momentum
Cards dealt again...maybe 90 hands into the tournament
And I was looking down at pocket Kings

I raised to ten thousand in early position
And a guy to my right, who had more chips than me
Said, "all in."
I called and he flipped pocket Aces
The rest of the cards were dealt and I didn't hit

That's the game... it happens to everyone
I wished everyone "good luck", bowed my head
And retreated to the parking lot
Where I had carefully parked the RedSled
To avoid dings from others

(The "RedSled is a 2002 Corvette with 30,000 miles on it...
Another gift from my tolerant, forgiving Babe of 42+ years)

Blackbirds were fluttering in and out of a tree

RedSled's hood in better days too
With water drops and reflections
No bird expressions

That shaded most of the Sled
And as I approached
I notice that there were a few dozen splats
Of bird crap all over the car

I resigned myself to the fact that
My streak of bad luck had not yet played out
What I mean is I put on my Forrest Gump composure
And accepted the fact that (bird) "S___ happens."

So I  headed to the nearest spray car wash...
It didn't all come off so then I headed home
To work on it some more

I carefully removed the remaining resi-doodoo
And then noticed some patterns remaining on the paint
So I brought out my heavy artillery

"Bug and tar remover" - nope
"Goo-gone" - nope
"Rubbing compound" - sort of...
So I applied 80 strokes per spot (yes I counted for consistency)
Then a final layer of wax

Still - some etching remained - a couple of dozen instances
If you looked at it from the right angle
"Uh-oh"
(perhaps I used stronger words...)
So I Googled it
Asking the almighty god of knowledge
"What to do?"
It said, "clay bar"
I tried it - nope


Note: Along the (Google) way.
I also discovered that Red is the favorite color for 
Birds to 'express' themselves on - go figure.


I am now out of home remedies
So next stop - body shop
To see what I can see about professional buffing
Besides, I dropped a ladder on it not long ago
And put some dings in the hood,
Need a pro to fix that too
But that's another story

Through it all I am still practicing Julie's advice,
At least the "be patient" part.