So naturally I decided to check with the god of all knowledge, Google to see what I might find. Here are the results...with some of my own speculation thrown in for good measure:
flaming asshole: Origin unknown. (Google is silent on this.)
- "An extreme asshole." While it is listed in the urban dictionary, even there the information is sparse. Of course, this is the most common interpretation. In fact I have seen so many reminders of this lately, mostly in the political news*, that is why I have decided to give the expression its due.
- Associated with lighting farts. This is the true origin I suspect. I first witnessed this in a military dorm during my late teens. I didn't think it was possible until I saw it. It works just like a blow torch, except when the perpetrator tries too hard and accidentally drops a log on the floor. I have witnessed this too. The second time I heard discussion of the practice was from a nurse describing her times with her brothers when they were teenagers growing up in rural Northern California (yes, supposedly she was a participant).
- A cocktail and there are several variations. Here's one...1/2 oz of each of these ingredients:
- Grenadine syrup
- Green creme de menthe
- Creme de bananas
- Overproof rum
- Layer in the same exact order, syrup first. Ignite rum before serving and serve with a straw.
- Entertainment 4.20:10 (mainly overblown egos...if drug abuse is considered, multiply the factor by 1.5)
- Sports 2.30:10 (the number doubles when you add in domestic abuse cases)
- Business 5.00:10 (this figure does not allow for leaders who have no vision or regard for the future...for those who do not understand that the middle class is what drives their wealth - multiply by 1.75)
- Politics 9.95:10 (with a small allowance for those who simply cannot distinguish their assholes from a hole in the ground)
- Common Man 0.01:10 (scatological exclamations in heavy traffic have not been counted)
So there you have it; everything you ever wanted to know about flaming assholes. Feel free to use this handy guide for...whatever.
And here is a cautionary quote from the famous graffiti artist and philosopher(?) Banksy; "The more grumpy you are, the more assholes you meet."
And here is a cautionary quote from the famous graffiti artist and philosopher(?) Banksy; "The more grumpy you are, the more assholes you meet."
2 comments:
Just amazing, Tom! I feel so much better now!
It gave me indigestion. With a hint of fig, ..I think.
Post a Comment