"Square Wheels"

Fairchild Air Force Base, Spokane Washington, late '70s. We were a crew of Air Force health care administrators working at a Strategic Air Command hospital there.

Our Administrator, Colonel Paul McNally had been selected for a senior officer course, Air War College, and was leaving for a few months. He appointed me as his temporary replacement. I was fairly fresh out of grad school and a pretty new Captain so I was damn happy and flattered to get the job.  His last words of advice (Or was it an order?!), "Don't change anything."

A few weeks later we received a "Staff assistance" visit from our major air command counterparts at SAC. Among them, Colonel Harold Gottlieb (RIP), Command Administrator and Captain Tim Morgan, his medical logistics guru or as we called those of his specialty, a "Box Kicker." Colonel Gottlieb was preceded with a reputation as the sort who would chew you out for an improperly hung picture in your hospital hallway and he would do so spontaneously in front of God and everybody. Plus, at any hospital you could get fired on the spot if you were found lacking.  Thus, we had all done our best to get things in order and just in case, had prepared for just such an act.

Surprisingly, the visit went very well and I was impressed with the Colonel's obvious love for what he was doing...hospitals and health care. His whole team was upbeat and truly there to assist.

One evening Julieann and I had the two over for dinner. We were joined by our hospital "box kicker" Captain Matt Pisut (RIP) and his wife Judy. After dinner, we went out on our back deck and played a few games of darts. Toward the end, we made a wager. If Matt and I won two out of three games our hospital would be funded with $50,000 worth of additional medical equipment from our wish list. If the Colonel and Tim won, they wouldn't owe us anything. This was important to us because in those days' peace had broken out and in the military that meant funds were pretty difficult to come by. Matt and I lost and to this day, I am not entirely certain we were not motivated by fear, awe, lack of skill or any combination of the three.

Not long after, I received a call from Major Steve Coleman at SAC. He worked for Colonel Gottlieb and was our medical staffing guy there.  Steve offered me the Administrator job at the SAC hospital at Kincheloe in Northern Michigan. (Hmmmm...was that a reward or punishment for doing a good job at Fairchild? We'll never know.) Anyway, it was a great opportunity and I took that news home to my wife straight away. We had a brand-new son, Tyler. He was just a few months old and we had had been at Fairchild less then a year. When I gave Julie the news, I could see a tear immediately in her eye and I knew what our answer was. Next day I told Steve I was eternally grateful but we had to let our family settle a little more.

A couple months later, Steve called again and offered the same job at Malmstrom Air Force Base in Montana. I again took the news to Julieann and this time she was prepared so we soon left for Great Falls.

I loved the job and soon became aware that some of our docs had legitimate concerns about the medical equipment we had available. I knew money was tight and the gang Colonel Gottlieb had assembled at SAC (Geiger and Edenfield on the finance side were a couple of others) were really terrific with their support. Yet no one seemed to be making progress...we were just getting by. So, I wrote a letter titled "Square Wheels" to the guys at SAC. I pointed out that I believed our docs and nurses were doing a terrific job considering the resources available. Then I asked if there was anything further we could do to help improve the situation, otherwise we would have to continue down the road hobbled by "square wheels."

Well, I wasn't fired and the medical equipment situation didn't change much, through no fault of the SAC guys. I learned more about the budget process in Washington though and how difficult it could be in times of peace.

Today, more then 40 years later, Morgan still calls me "Square Wheels" and I am left wondering if I don't have a copy of that letter around somewhere.

In the end, I remain grateful for  the best Strategic Air Command support people an operations guy could have ever hoped for; Colonel Harold Gottlieb, Major Steve Coleman, Captain Tim Morgan, Captain Jim Geiger, TSgt Bill Edenfield and others.

"Those were the days my friend.
We thought they'd never end.
Those were the days!
Oh yes those were the days."
(Thanks Mary Hopkin)