Dear "Thomas T. Tatamous."
Yes, that is the name our Mother will confer on us in our pre-teen years before our despicable brother David Claud William was born and stole a huge chunk of our home turf. Yeah he even got four names to our three and what the hell was that about?!
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| Thomas T. Tatamous |
You and I will receive many gifts at birth. A silver spoon will not be one of them. Later in life you will come to regard this as perhaps your greatest blessing for it will inspire you to work hard, to not take things for granted and to really appreciate a damn good bologna sandwich - preferably fried and always "with ketchup please."
Tatamous, you will not appreciate your gifts as you should and this will slow your progress - but you will crank up the gears a few times and in the process, to your great delight and surprise, witness your potential. You will find some comfort in coming close and in some critical instances, you will nail it.
As a child raised mostly in North Dakota, you will cultivate a naiveté you will carry throughout your life. As a poor child, you will also cultivate a sense of imposter syndrome. Don't let either worry you too much though as neither is necessarily a bad thing. The first will give you an extra measure of happiness and the second will keep you humble.
At the foot of the Black Hills of South Dakota, you will find your bride. She will show you the meaning of beauty in body, mind and spirit. She will teach you about tenacity and loyalty. She will love and inspire you for more than 50 years.
In western Washington, she will give you a son. He will teach us about stature; in his remarkable athleticism at baseball and soccer, in his intelligence, and in his courage to face performance anxiety through hundreds of stage performances. He will write poetic lyrics to songs that will touch the hearts of young and old alike. His fine character will include attributes of loyalty, thoughtfulness and generosity. He will struggle to find his place in an increasingly complex world.
In northern California, your wife will give you a daughter of striking beauty and intelligence. She too will be blessed with athleticism. She will also demonstrate extraordinary mechanical ability. She will discover a sense of composure in stressful, emergent conditions. She will show fine artistic and organizational skills. Her character will shine with humor, loyalty and compassion for others. Her spirit will prove a contemporary match for her Mother's. She too will struggle in dealing with the cultural extremes that are at every young person's fingertips today.
As fate would have it, both your son and daughter will also be lefties like you. That will make them squirrelly, unpredictable, and easily distracted daydreamers... just like you.
Along the way you and I will learn many things... as do others. You will stack them up in your mind as you go, until you reach age 70. Then, you will be filled with wonder at the serendipitous way you got where you are. As your bride will testify on more than one occasion, you will live "a charmed life."
Now, after that lengthy freakin' preliminary let's get to it. In keeping with the precedent set by others for this type of note to self, what have we learned along the way and what can you use to become a better person than you are at 70?
(I was recently inspired to write this by a post from Amy Jo Martin: Her's was a terrific letter to her younger self and I shared it with my son and daughter in hopes they too would reflect on their journey thus far. I thought it would be fun to do the same...)
Tatamous, you will not appreciate your gifts as you should and this will slow your progress - but you will crank up the gears a few times and in the process, to your great delight and surprise, witness your potential. You will find some comfort in coming close and in some critical instances, you will nail it.
As a child raised mostly in North Dakota, you will cultivate a naiveté you will carry throughout your life. As a poor child, you will also cultivate a sense of imposter syndrome. Don't let either worry you too much though as neither is necessarily a bad thing. The first will give you an extra measure of happiness and the second will keep you humble.
At the foot of the Black Hills of South Dakota, you will find your bride. She will show you the meaning of beauty in body, mind and spirit. She will teach you about tenacity and loyalty. She will love and inspire you for more than 50 years.
In western Washington, she will give you a son. He will teach us about stature; in his remarkable athleticism at baseball and soccer, in his intelligence, and in his courage to face performance anxiety through hundreds of stage performances. He will write poetic lyrics to songs that will touch the hearts of young and old alike. His fine character will include attributes of loyalty, thoughtfulness and generosity. He will struggle to find his place in an increasingly complex world.
In northern California, your wife will give you a daughter of striking beauty and intelligence. She too will be blessed with athleticism. She will also demonstrate extraordinary mechanical ability. She will discover a sense of composure in stressful, emergent conditions. She will show fine artistic and organizational skills. Her character will shine with humor, loyalty and compassion for others. Her spirit will prove a contemporary match for her Mother's. She too will struggle in dealing with the cultural extremes that are at every young person's fingertips today.
As fate would have it, both your son and daughter will also be lefties like you. That will make them squirrelly, unpredictable, and easily distracted daydreamers... just like you.
Along the way you and I will learn many things... as do others. You will stack them up in your mind as you go, until you reach age 70. Then, you will be filled with wonder at the serendipitous way you got where you are. As your bride will testify on more than one occasion, you will live "a charmed life."
Now, after that lengthy freakin' preliminary let's get to it. In keeping with the precedent set by others for this type of note to self, what have we learned along the way and what can you use to become a better person than you are at 70?
- Beware of peer pressure - While it can be good, it will get you in trouble more than often than not.
- Be careful who you hang out with - See #1.
- Indulge your curiosity - It will take you where you love to be and if you stay with it long enough it will sustain you.
- "Write like a Motherfucker" - Cheryl Strayed. In other words learn from lessons shared by others and, of course write... just write.
- Be true to those who love you - This is not easy. Repeat. This is not easy.
- Inanimate things will break too - Don't let your leftie disposition get the best of you when this happens.
- You will witness remarkable advances in technology and remarkable declines in civilization. Try not to take either too seriously; it won't help anything.
- Being judgmental is not a good thing - try to do a better job of avoiding it than your much older self. In the end, you will make much better decisions.
- Cultivate those endorphins - You will do good, you can do better.
On the other hand... you will end up who you are at 70 won't you?! So there's no sense in regrets about the past. Just take comfort in the knowledge that people generally tend to remember the good things and if you can, spend more time with that thought.
Life will be nothing more than your best guess and you are going to be lucky kid... you are going to be really lucky.
(I was recently inspired to write this by a post from Amy Jo Martin: Her's was a terrific letter to her younger self and I shared it with my son and daughter in hopes they too would reflect on their journey thus far. I thought it would be fun to do the same...)
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