Friday, October 5, 2018

God's Round II - Sacrilege? I Think Not

What if God decided on starting over with her/his experiment called "Earth?"  Given the size of the universe, maybe He/She already has and we just can't see it.  What ideas could we share on a new, improved version? (Thank you to those who have contributed.  Your tips for God are marked with your initials. The others are mine...from my mind...if you don't mind.)
  1. Don't sacrifice your only begotten for us.  We're not worth it.  Besides, we need Him to stick with us a little longer.
    God's Do-Over. Thinking things over...
  2. Don't let a bunch of scribes write the Bible.  There is too much left to interpretation.  Besides, we'd rather hear it first hand. I mean, do we really need the book of Job?  We can't even interpret the Constitution. It's only 4 pages and we have had to amend it 27 times for God's sake (sorry).
  3. We like peace so please, make us all the same color.  You pick. We'll see if we can do better if we are literally all begin on the same page.
  4. "Let's skip a couple of emotions please...fear and hatred.  Thank you.  Or is that cheating on the test?  Also, banana splits in every refrigerator." - DCWC
  5. There are certain inventors...guns and nuclear weapons for example, who should remain unborn.
  6. "A couple more hours in the day (without making us age faster) would be nice." - SMC
  7. Let's dump that chastity vow for priests and nuns okay?  It's just too much pressure for the human brain to deal with.
  8. No kid's diseases. You must be 21 to get sick.  If diseases must happen, we'll be better prepared to deal with them then. 
  9. Help us all be born with an innate understanding that rampant population growth is harmful to the Earth and causes us to fight among one another.
  10. "Let all children have proper homes, nourishment, education, emotional and medical support." - SMC
  11. "Benjamin Button the process. Reward a life lived well with play and innocence." - BH
  12. Give our intuition a better engine okay?  At least let us be born knowing how to change our own diapers and tie our own shoes...
  13. Do not include Saturday mail delivery.  It is a very expensive service. It is 90% junk mail and the remainder is bills.  Those puppies can wait until Monday.
  14. Pennies?  Who needs'em?!  And the 545 + 1?  We need a major overhaul there.
  15. "I want Matriarchy to be the prevailing social order." - AG  "Smash the patriarchy." SMC - "Just put women in charge and let's try that for a couple thousand years okay?" - TC
  16. Clear up the man/woman controversy that surrounds you okay?  I mean if you Google "God" images you just get zillions of photos of a badass looking man.  Conversely, if you Google Woman God...you mainly get a bunch of images of Ariana Grande and we know she's not God...or is she?
  17. Hey!  How about taking a "selfie" for us?!  That would sure clear up a lot of speculation about what you look like.
  18. "More wine" - DB..."Hear! Hear!" - JO & TC
  19. "Equality" - JMC & SW  "... and students taught to understand and respect our differences rather than bullying" - SW
  20. "Scratch house flies, mosquitoes, gnats and no see'ums off the creation list." - JO  "...I'd add ticks, chiggers, probably brown recluses too." - SW  "No fruit flies in my old vine zin." - JO
  21. "Term limits." - BeeGee
  22. One last thing (maybe). I respectfully request that my family and I be born again, literally. Also, please have all our dogs with us, all the way.  And please make me more tolerant of bad drivers this time around.  God knows, I mean You know, I'm not perfect so why in God's name, I mean Your name, should I expect others to be that way. 
All right...this could end up a work in progress.  I kinda like to come back and edit/update things.  You have input? Great!  Have your people get in touch with my people.



4 comments:

Vino Corleone said...

Great post Tom! Love your work!

TomC said...

Thank you Vino!

Mary Stahl Sweet said...

Could be my favorite yet. But there's much I have yet to read.

TomC said...

Thank you Mary! That one was a lot of fun to mess with, especially with the add-ons from some good pals.