The Gud Ritr

This is Miss Mary Windau (RIP), former Dean of Women and English teacher at Huron High School in Huron, Ohio.  In 1962, Miss Windau told me I was a "good writer." It was the only compliment I received in four turbulent high school years.  This is not to suggest I was worthy of any at all, for any reason.  I never forgot that though and often think about her as I am pecking away at this here keyboard. Interesting how brief remarks can stick with a person for a lifetime isn't it?!

Anyway, a much too late thank you so much Miss Windau. Through those few words, you encouraged me to pursue and enjoy a pastime that remained with me for a lifetime. I did a little internet stalking and have found that many others feel the same way about you.  Well done Ma'am.  Well done.  

(I should add that I have produced a book, a memoir that maybe is at times humorous. "Hayseed" includes sections that occurred when I was one of her Huron High School students.  If she were here, she might have given me a C-... for effort... maybe. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FRZG3DVC
 

Soldier Boy I - Prelude

He may look decent but he knows nothing.
(He's about to learn though...)

17 and a quarter - fresh out of high school
Not advanced academically
Just started early as a kid (hayseed) in North Dakota

Out of four high school years
Spent first two and a half
In Huron, Ohio

Enjoyed one class - "Technical Drawing" at Renton, Washington HS
Actually two - "Speech" at Huron, Ohio HS... but Mr Adler, "The Big Bopper" (RIP)
Kicked me out of that one forever

Kicked out of another as well in Huron...
Robbie C and I competed for lowest grade in "Latin"
I was disqualified from the competition when
Mrs. McKillip turned and caught me giving her
The single digit salute from the back of the classroom

As a result I was booted from class and sentenced to
"Honors Study Hall" for some reason
There I would sit and do...nothing
While my fellow students would sit and do...something
For an hour each day

Eventually it turned out the most valuable class
I would ever take was an elective
"Personal Typing"
I was at Huron HS, a sophomore  I think
Our teacher was young and to me, she was gorgeous
She had this deeply disturbing quality as well

When she was showing you how to use the keyboard
She would bend over your back
Placing her hands over yours and gently moving your fingers
To the correct position

All innocent enough
Except for the fact that her breasts
Would rest square on your back while she was doing it

As a fourteen year old student with hormones on permanent overdrive
This would reduce me to the mental level of a doberman humping a fireplug

In spite of that I learned to type 
A skill that would serve again and again
Throughout the remainder of my life

First two years in high school I was "college prep" material
Second two years it was, "Just get through will you?"

We moved from Huron to Seattle in the middle
Traumatic stuff for a fifteen year old

I majored in pool the second half of high school... the billiards kind that is
After hours of course...plus when I could skip classes without getting caught
Came out though with a 2.0 GPA - some kind of miracle that was.

Finally, a graduation ceremony and we were turned loose on society
In Seattle you had to be 18 to be "bonded"
I think that meant a third party insuring you against theft or injury or something
I found out I couldn't even pump gas
(my highest aspiration at the time)
Unless I was... "bonded"

So I wandered the streets of downtown Seattle
And played pool for a while
Famous historical joints (really) like Ben Paris and
The 211 Club (est. 1898)
(The 211 site is now the home of the Seattle Symphony - go figure...)

One day I walked past the recruiter's offices
Saw the different uniforms there
And thought the Air Force blues were pretty cool
I don't think the Marines had a display
Or I probably would have chose them!

Shortly thereafter, Mom signed for me
Three months out of high school, four months short of 18
And I was off to eight weeks of basic training

Twenty-four years, an amazing inspirational wife, a great son,
Bachelors and masters degrees, and many remarkable experiences later
Half as enlisted and half as officer
I would retire as a BTZ Major in the Air Force Medical Service Corps
Along the way I learned something in spite of myself

Sinner? - Definitely

It was really quiet in the drunk tank.
Early morning and not a sound...
There was no one there but him...

A fledgling crook at 15
He and some pals of similar persuasion had broken into
A small popular restaurant in town that also sold liquor

They got a few bucks and a few bottles of booze
It was his first taste of "Four Roses" bourbon whiskey
Pitiful tasting stuff but a manly act for all involved

It was The Watermelon Effect... Big time
(Yes that is a link to more about the little crook.. and find out here
what I have in common with Mark Twain on the topic.)

The little town's population tripled in summer
With tourists coming in from Cleveland and inland towns
To vacation on the beaches of Lake Erie
Lots of time for girls and boys to discover each other

He met one
Mary Stahl from Ashland, Ohio
She was smart, beautiful and beguiling
For him, it was another serious case of being in love....'fatuation

Later that year he decided to hitchhike to Ashland to see her
It was just over forty miles away
He had to be home to babysit his little brother that night
As his parents were going out
He caught some rides and made it to Ashland for a short visit
But struggled getting rides on the way home

He found himself stuck in Attica, Ohio
Still over thirty miles away
While the sun was getting real low on the horizon
He knew he was going to be late and in trouble

He took a quick look in a back parking lot of a tavern
Climbed in an old Ford station wagon, looked around
Dropped the driver's side sun visor
And the keys fell in his lap
A real strong dose of serendipity that was...

He took off for Huron
Struggling as darkness set in
Afraid, without his glasses,
(He only wore them in school,
To see the blackboard
Otherwise lived a blur for distances but didn't mind)
And not exactly sure how to drive

He made it though
Parked the Ford near the town library
And walked a couple of blocks home (Williams Street)
Figuring the police would quickly find it
And return it to its owner
For some reason he kept the keys

A week, then two went by
And the station wagon was still there
Driving was so exciting

Not the Mansfield dance but looks a lot like it...
"Teen angels" everywhere...
Some, not so much the angel.

He couldn't bring himself to leave it alone

So, he started driving himself to school
When asked, it was his "Uncle's car"
Temporarily left in the care of the family
After a week or so of that
He and a buddy, Tony M., were on their way to Mansfield, Ohio
For their popular Sunday night dance

It was the early days of rock and roll
And he loved to dance

He had been driving pretty cautious
Partly because he was still early in the learning stages
Partly because he didn't want to get picked up
Suddenly, a patrol car appeared directly behind
Flashed its lights and he pulled over

With no papers at all to show
The policeman grew suspicious
And called the station to check on the Ford
Shortly thereafter; "We'll have to take you in son."
It wasn't hard to convince the police his buddy
Was not involved in the crime
And his family later picked him up

The fifteen year old sinner though
Was left over night in a vacant cell block
The drunk tank in the Attica, Ohio Police Station

Nah... it wasn't as 'nice' as this one.
The chains holding it had a more aesthetic appeal though.

The solitary cell
Had a metal cot with fifty cent size holes in it
(Easier to hose down?)
It was hung from the wall with chains
There was a toilet and a wash basin

They let him grab as many army blankets as he wanted
Before they put him in for the night

Next morning
He did push-ups - seemed like the right thing to do
Had a little breakfast they brought him
And daydreamed
There and then he decided
He would never spend another night in jail

It wasn't long before his parents showed
And took him home

During the drive
He was feeling more adult or something
And asked his Dad for a cigarette
He knew they knew he smoked
All he got was funny looks and continued silence

His Dad and Mom never said much about the incident
Just helped him pick out a new outfit
On credit at the local clothing store
It was his first ever as a teenager
It was supposed to help his appearance in juvenile court

It was the works and he was dazzled by it
A green trench coat with matching leather gloves
New shoes, trousers, and a shirt
With a green and white argyle cardigan sweater

The judge put him on six month's probation for
"Driving a car without the owner's consent"

His family moved to Seattle while he was still on probation
He was a Junior in high school
They never reported the move to the court
Fifty years later, he could still be wanted in Ohio

The experience turned him away from a life of crime
One of the first in a string of truly fortunate developments

That would last a lifetime.

Saint... ah, Thomas - well... sort of

They moved to Ohio
Via a short stay (2-3 yrs) in Michigan
It was lock, stock and barrel
Well there wasn't any stock of course
Probably no locks or barrels either
It was just them and everything they owned
In and on an old '49 Pontiac (I think - coulda' been a Chevy.)
(Here's a link to more on that!)

Catholic Church/School, Huron Ohio
He was there... fifth through eighth grade
Sister Arcadia, the Principal...
A real Nunzilla she was

Arcadia once took him into the cloak room
Tugged sharply on his ear
Gave him a smack on the face
And essentially told him to
Shape up or else

Sister James, sixth grade teacher... 

His Earth Angel
Sister James once took him aside
And told him how bright he was
That he had a fine future in store

His Dad was the janitor
His Aunt ran the cafeteria
He was an altar boy

After hours no one was ever surprised to see him there

In the building that contained church, school and cafeteria
He often served Mass seven days a week
He was filled with curiosity and a need for adventure
That prompted him to sneak tastes of altar wine
The taste was never any good to him
He kept at it for the excitement though

(Certain priests would nudge the chalice 
With their fingers positioned in saintly fashion,  
For more to drink during Mass 
So he would just keep pouring until they nudged again...
signalling "stop")

Yup - they looked like this!

He also discovered how to pilfer school lunch tokens
And had them hidden all over
The combined school and church building
It was a twisted entrepreneurial move
Netting him the buck and a half a week
Mom coughed up for his lunches

When he was twelve he was elected to the #2 position
In the altar boys, "Vice President Grand Knight Commander"
True, there weren't many voters
It was a fine title for a little thief though
Whose related shenanigans
And relentless pursuit of the "Watermelon Effect"
(You might remember this from the "Hayseed" chapter.)
Wouldn't stop until he was 15 and spent a night in jail
(If you are thinking "scared straight", you are right.)

Still, at that age it seemed to him he was destined for serious Catholicism
So he volunteered to become a Maryknoll missionary
They had a high school for aspiring priests in Syracuse, New York
Maryknoll priests came to interview him
He tried to guess the right answers
And pass them along to make the priests happy
He never found out how that went
Because he was soon too preoccupied
By man's all time greatest distraction

(Yes, he was a pandering puppy back then,
Some called it "charming".
In any event a habit that is tough to break.)

Huron, Ohio beach

During that same period
(summer between 8th and 9th grade)
He was swimming in Lake Erie one day
Right at the beach
By "Laylin's Court",
The combination cabin and trailer park
They lived in

Among others in the water that day
There was a girl, petite, from Ireland,
Or maybe Scotland
Raised in the the South
Who had a wonderful mixed Irish/Scottish and Southern U.S. accent and smile - Patty Markin

They exchanged a few insults and rude remarks
And immediately fell in love...fatuation
Patty's dad worked in an auto factory in Norwalk
They lived in one of the trailers in Laylin's Court
Patty was 'Trailer Treasure" of the highest order

He quickly decided he wasn't cut out to be a priest
Instead, he became dedicated to
Hot pursuit of the opposite sex and true love
A pursuit he would fail at repeatedly,
Sometimes on purpose, until his early twenties

There was a problem though...
The transition from 8th grade and Catholic school
To 9th grade and public school
Was pretty much like getting out of prison
There were so many new (wrong) things to do!

It made him soon Shuck the Shackles of Sainthood
To pursue the Shady Side of Sin - well... sort of.
He was kind of headed in that direction anyway...

(Next chapter: Sinner - it's just a temporary job...)