The Road to Palookaville

Here somewhere on this historical and magnificent memoir...or not
Road Warrior theme spun within

As a kid

As in the Air Force

As a consultant for hire

Travel diminished somewhat
Over the past couple of years
What with more demand for remote work
And less demand for being there

I am not all unhappy with that...

But then traveler status has tanked too...

Hertz from President's Circle to Gold
Okay not bad, I can handle that

United from Premier Executive to Premier
And likely soon to 'Slug bait'

Marriott from Platinum Lifetime to...
Platinum Lifetime
What?!
For life?!
Nope, they weren't kidding
It's complimentary upgrades
Priority reservations
And concierge access
At Marriott's, for life
All because some time back
I racked up over a thousand lifetime nights

I stuck it out with Marriott
For more than twenty years
A loyal road warrior
And they said "thanks"
Anytime you stay with us again
No matter how often you travel
We are going to treat you
Like the loyal customer you are

United Airlines?
I have about 900,000 lifetime miles
Been in their Premier club
For, I don't know...
How long has that club

United Airlines new, improved boarding process!

Been in existence?
Since 1979? (so sayeth Wikipedia)
Probably since then

But now what to I get when I fly with them?
Seats that crush my kneecaps
I do not, repeat, do not have long legs either
Chest trauma from fold down tray seats
Middle seats with 300 pounders either side
Flowing over the armrests
Gently squeezing the life out of you
Also, "Don't check a bag or you'll pay...a__hole!"

Yeah, I was a contender at one time
Travel perks from one end to the other
Now just a dude from Palookaville...
Cannon fodder for a United sardine can...