The Road to Palookaville

Here somewhere on this historical and magnificent memoir...or not
Road Warrior theme spun within

As a kid

As in the Air Force

As a consultant for hire

Travel diminished somewhat
Over the past couple of years
What with more demand for remote work
And less demand for being there

I am not all unhappy with that...

But then traveler status has tanked too...

Hertz from President's Circle to Gold
Okay not bad, I can handle that

United from Premier Executive to Premier
And likely soon to 'Slug bait'

Marriott from Platinum Lifetime to...
Platinum Lifetime
What?!
For life?!
Nope, they weren't kidding
It's complimentary upgrades
Priority reservations
And concierge access
At Marriott's, for life
All because some time back
I racked up over a thousand lifetime nights

I stuck it out with Marriott
For more than twenty years
A loyal road warrior
And they said "thanks"
Anytime you stay with us again
No matter how often you travel
We are going to treat you
Like the loyal customer you are

United Airlines?
I have about 900,000 lifetime miles
Been in their Premier club
For, I don't know...
How long has that club

United Airlines new, improved boarding process!

Been in existence?
Since 1979? (so sayeth Wikipedia)
Probably since then

But now what to I get when I fly with them?
Seats that crush my kneecaps
I do not, repeat, do not have long legs either
Chest trauma from fold down tray seats
Middle seats with 300 pounders either side
Flowing over the armrests
Gently squeezing the life out of you
Also, "Don't check a bag or you'll pay...a__hole!"

Yeah, I was a contender at one time
Travel perks from one end to the other
Now just a dude from Palookaville...
Cannon fodder for a United sardine can...

And They Pass Through

The multitudes pass through

The great airports of the world

All kinds to the curious eye...

Buff and

Morbidly fat and

Morbidly skinny and

Average build... but

"But what is that?!"

Ugly

Plain

Natty

Disheveled

Drop dead gorgeous

Drop dead likely... at any moment

Fast

Slow

Nervous

Calm

Happy

Mad

Guilty

Innocent

Self-possessed

Guileless

Withdrawn

Ready to fight

Ready to flee

Their bags roll obediently behind and

They pause frequently to shift their load and

They pause frequently to ponder...

"Where are the bathrooms?

What time is it?

What time do I board?

Am I early?

Am I late?

What gate"?

"Do I have time to eat?

Am I hungry?

Will I get hungry on the plane?

If I don't eat now?

Do I look as tired as the rest of these people"?

"Will I make my connection?

Will my bag make the connection?

Should I grab a bottle of water?

Do I have enough to read?

How long has my fly been open"?

I will join the multitudes

Asking the same questions...

Again...

As I pass through.

But then... We snap out of it!!!!