The Towel Game (A Road Warrior Post)

Now listen

You may not to read on

You may not have the stomach for it

Ok don't say I didn't warn you

This is about a new form of intrigue

Of the towel snapping kind

To appreciate it

Or I should say, to experience it

You must spend an ungodly amount of time in

HOTELS

Mainly, of the Marriott kind

Only because I kind of like them

I am addicted to their points system

And I use my old military ID

To get a government discount on the rates

It all adds up to...

So here's the story...

You see, someone in hotel land
Figured guests could and would reuse towels
If only a reminder was posted that it was good for the environment

Less energy used and less soap consumption right?!
Any monetary benefit accruing from reduced
Laundry cost would be retained by the people in hotel land of course.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (hotel)
Yours truly was stacked up again for weeks at a time
In his favorite hotel (read slave to points) of choice

A Marriott in Red Stick, Louisiana

Being the seasoned Road Warrior he was
He quickly sized up the scene
And determined the hotel had two kinds of bath towels

One had been around a while
Washed a bunch of times
And had the home spun feel of... sandpaper

The other was relatively new and still felt like...
Well... a towel that the average human
Would find acceptable

Note:  The Road Warrior is an average human.

The problem was
The good towels were sorely outnumbered
By a scientifically determined ratio of three to one

So, he immediately began scheming
How to be sure that among his four room towels
One would always be a towel of the good and righteous kind

First he did the obvious, following the instructions on the card
And carefully hung the towel on a rack signalling an intent to use it again
It didn't work!

The wily maid had removed it to be cleaned in the sandpaper conversion factory.

Apparently the maid
Had not been informed
Of the environmental situation

Next, he lurked in the hallways
Under full scrutiny of the hotel security cameras
Hoping for an opportunity to raid the maid's cart

Of all the soft towels it contained
That didn't work either
The maids were much too wily

Plus they were probably on the look out
For desperate guests
When they find one, they like to taunt them

By failing to replace their morning coffee supplies
Or,  by leaving the bathtub drain closed so you will discover
It right in middle of your shower when you notice
The water level is rapidly rising
So you have to bend over to release it...
A fairly humiliating posture. 

Finally, he had his eureka moment
He knew from travels far and wide
That maids have an aversion to room closets

That they wouldn't put ironing boards, irons
Or anything else back in the closet
If left out

So, he took to dropping all four bath towels on the floor
That put them in automatic replacement status
Always honored by the maids

When he got a good one
He would carefully fold it
And place it on a hangar in the closet

Thus giving it sanctuary status
And insuring his bare butt
A comfortable rub post shower

Score one for the Road Warrior