Going to See Billy

9 at night in Baton Rouge. I was in bed early. Sleeping good. Woke up at 1:30 in the morning. I knew I wouldn’t go back to sleep. Thought I would lie there a while and try. A little after 2 and I was up. 

  That’s it Billy. I’m outa here. 

Four hours sleep was enough. I was going to see cousin Billy. Hadn't seen him in over 20 years. 

  Billy, I remember last time I saw you. During a family get together at your sister Donna's. I made a wise crack and you chased me over her sofa...the whole Campbell ganging laughing. 

On the road around 3am. I am a slow starter. Got a damn fine cup of coffee sitting in the console cup holder. Maybe the drunks are off the road and in the sack. 

  What do you think Billy? I hope so. 

On the Interstate pretty quick. Not much traffic. Heading almost straight North. Tuck the needle in tight on 80. It's a fine night. Not much traffic. Good Road. 

  We're doing fine here Billy. I am looking forward to meeting your family. 

Baton Rouge past Natchez. Hey, isn’t this where the Trail of Tears passed? Then Yazoo City. Now over a bridge on the Tallahatchie River. In my mind, I can hear Bobby Gentry singing that song as I cross. I repeat all those names out loud. Baton Rouge, Natchez, Tallahatchie. They really sound good when pronounced with emphasis. And Yazoo City! 

  How do you say it without sounding like a cheerleader Billy? C'mon try it! 

Driving into the dawn as I approach Jackson, Mississippi. A new day is being born. I love this time. I am cranking oldies radio stations. Driving from one FM area into another. But no trouble finding a new one each time. I’m glad we boomers have finally found our rightful status in the music world. At least on the radio. As the miles go by. I’m singing loudly along with the songs. 

  Billy, I am sure happy that the Man has given me a voice I don’t mind hearing. Thoughts of Billy and family sprinkled in and between the songs. Hey Billy! I wish you could have met my wife Julieann, son Tyler and daughter Samantha. I think you would have loved them. I know they would have loved you. 

I am stopping for gas and breakfast. A little one-stop shop between Jackson and Memphis. A couple of biscuits and more coffee for the road. Biscuits are being made right there in the little station. Being stuffed with sliced link sausage, eggs and cheese. They smell irresistible. Back on the road. Munching on the biscuits. Greasy and delicious. I am a happy camper all right. When we were kids, Billy was my first friend. When we were kids, Billy was my best friend. At least in my eyes. I think all us cousins felt that way about him. He had a way of making you feel special. A couple of days earlier, my brother David had told me of a visit some 30 years ago. Billy hardly knew him, but insisted he come over and stay the night.

  David never forgot that Billy. 

Billy was always happy. He had a spontaneous, big laugh that would fill any room. Sure I haven't seen him in over 20 years. 

  But I can still hear your laugh Billy. 

30-40 miles off the interstate to Piggott. I wrestled with the pronunciation all the way there. Finally found out its “pig-it” with a hard "g". There are some things in life you just can’t explain right? It’s a small town under 4,000. But it’s sort of pretty. Right on the edge of the flat land. Right in the front yard of the Ozarks. Erma Dean. Billy’s wife. Her strength and love for Billy are dazzling to me. She has a twinkle in her eye and refuses to let it go. Even in this time. It is easy to understand why Billy moved to Arkansas. Billy’s sons Scott and Sean. One a crew chief for a Blackhawk helicopter. The other studying mechanical engineering in Michigan. 

  And I saw a few of your grandchildren running around to Billy. I know you are very proud of all of them. 

Cousin Kenny. Billy's older brother. Still a ton of mischief at age 65. The devil is still makin’ him do it. Kenny takes in life in big gulps. And loves it as much as anyone I know. Kenny’s son Mike - a serious, stable soul. An information technology guy and rancher. Mike’s wife, Coleen and fine young son Ben. Coleen was raised on a diary farm in Arkansas, or is it Missouri? And she has this look, like she always understands what is going on. And she has this fine, loving sense of humor. She is always using it to size up and contain Kenny and his shenanigans. 

  Some of these Campbell’s are really doing good aren’t they Billy?! 

Cousin Joyce. The same quick laugh I remember from so many years ago. And her husband Don. You are Don's friend as soon as he meets you. He just makes you feel that way. Joyce and Don have been at Billy’s for the past month. Joyce is hovering over everything. Making sure everyone has something to eat, has a place to sit, and has been introduced. She hasn't had time to grieve for her brother yet. 

  I 'll bet you made her laugh thousands of times Billy. 

Billy’s sister Carol, and her husband Lynwood. Drove in from North Carolina. I get to know them a little during the visitation at the funeral home. They sure are good folks. The sense of humor is there, in them as well. Erma Dean’s family. Billy and Erma Dean’s friends. They have been bringing food for a month. They all come with a couple of plates. A hot main dish and a dessert. 

  Pretty amazing isn’t it Billy? 

I had a chance to slip in the Clinton joke about DNA and Arkansas. You know. The one where they couldn't test Clinton. Because all people in Arkansas have the same DNA. Erma Dean said I would “pay” for that. The way she put it left no doubt in my mind it was true. I was lucky the twinkle was there when she said it. Life is huge so live it large. Try not to leave anything on your plate. 

  I believe these things and I am trying hard Billy. 

Heading back to Baton Rouge. Thinking about the trip and going to see Billy. I want to write some of this down. There’s a big pad of yellow stickies in my briefcase. I grab the pad, prop it on my knee and start writing while driving. It’s a little hard to read but it’s going to work. I will key them into a computer when I get time. 

Now it’s late in the afternoon. I am driving through the long shadows. The contrast of sun and shade is beautiful. Billy played golf. In the years after he retired from General Motors, he and Erma Dean operated a business. It had them traveling around the country working on golf courses. 

  This is the best time of day on a golf course isn’t it Billy? I will see you again Billy. I am looking forward to hearing your laugh. 

Amen.